(Admit it, you sang Alexei Sayle).
2011 was a funny year. Change, but not enough. Learning, but not enough. Progress, but not enough. 2011 has felt like a year of set-up, a year of groundwork, a year that’s been champing at the bit.
2011 has been all about the Agent. Accepting guidance. Learning the inner details of procedure. Sally’s a powerhouse – and I’ve had to learn to prise my sweaty little mitts off my manuscript, my characters, my plot (mine, my precious!) and let someone else in.
2011 has also been short story year (was warned about these buggers back in my earliest writers’ workshops) and I’ve been quite taken aback by how well they’ve gone down. They’re tiny steps, but going the right way.
Now though, it’s 2012, and the time for little steps is gone. Can I face my first professional edit? (Die, little darlings, die!) The copy-editing, the proof-reading? Well, I guess I’m about to find this shit out for myself.
‘Author’ is a funny word – I’m surrounded by people who’ve earned it with suitably ludicrous amount of merit. I’ve worked with and for them and I know how hard this all is. 2012 is the year I have to live up to it.
Am I scared out my tiny? You bet your arse I am.
But hey, I’ve got new boots. They’re my boots and they fit me. I can walk (almost) anywhere. And I was thinking when I was walking this morning…
The lesson learned for this New Year? Your boots are your own. Learn to trust, to accept guidance from those around you…
…but don’t walk in anyone else’s.
I haven’t made any Resolutions. But I will walk in my own boots.